THE SINGLE SINNERWritten by, The Single Sinner…

I’m sitting here drinking a skinny Latte (wishing it was a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows) and typing away on my laptop. I can practically read your mind, with thoughts of ‘here goes another Carrie Bradshaw wannabe.’ Yes, I’m clothes obsessed, have spent money that I should have saved for rent on a fabulous pair of shoes and I have a Mr Big in my life. But I ask you girls, who doesn’t? I can sit here now and say that every single girl I know has been in a dysfunctional relationship. I once read that writing is therapeutic for the mind so here goes…get ready for some detailed and sometimes over-the-top men related tales. Names will obviously be withheld for embarrassment reasons.

I’m a blonde (fake), curvy (not fat) twenty five year old. I sometimes over use the false tan and still feel inadequate when I walk around Harvey Nichols, browsing clothes that I can’t afford. When I turned twenty five it was like a bolt of realisation that I had achieved basically nothing in my life. Dramatic I’m sure but after graduating, which is an achievement I suppose, I moved back in with the rents and due to level of debt I’d managed to get into, I took the first job that was offered to me. It had nothing to do with writing (my first and only love) and drained every single bit of inspiration from my body. When you see those terrible adverts asking if you’ve had an accident within the past three years then we could get you 101% of your compensation, well I’m the person you call when you want to tell me your exaggerated, highly unlikely to have ever happened story to.

I’m currently single, after getting out of a messy, confusing on-off relationship with the guy I’ll refer to as the boy. Our relationship would probably need a whole chapter to explain, I’d even go as far as saying a book so I’ll tell you the basics now. We met as uni, just when I promised myself I would leave guys alone and concentrate on my studies, stayed together for a year until he moved back home and we both went our separate ways. We stayed friends, although conversations were never long as I dreaded him bringing up his new girlfriend in passing. I, on the other hand, took great pleasure in telling him what or should I say who I’d done at the weekend, probably in some vain hope that he’d be consumed by jealousy and ask me back out. It never happened.

That was until we were brought together thanks to our love of Saturday night TV. Actually it was my love for the show X Factor and his love for Alexander Burke. We would sit and talk for hours on the phone about nothing really and as the months passed and we both stayed single, I realised my feelings for the boy had never gone away. To cut a long story short, I got drunk, text him (I clam up when it comes to talking about feelings but give me predictive text and I can write a sonnet) and declared my undying love. I think he was shocked because it took a further 3 months for him to tell me it back. Yet I hung around just to hear those three words. He was a mind player. When ever we had an argument he would somehow turn it round so I thought I was the one in the wrong. He was manipulative and rude and yet somehow, I loved him. Everything was on his terms. He would call when he wanted and he would text back when he wanted and I actually thought that I was the girl for him. He never wanted to make plans, not even for Christmas or New Year and my friends would ask me, patiently, if he was really right for me. He had so many qualities of Mr Big, I almost felt like it was ok to be treated like that because if Carrie could be that stylish and finally get her man, then surely it would happen for me. It took Mr Big 6 years to tell Carrie she was the one. I’m twenty five now, I just haven’t got that sort of time to wait around. So I’m back on the market and ready to have some much needed fun…

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